I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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