Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
