I wish I could teleport
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
