Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize