she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize