Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
