Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
