don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
