guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
be right there i have to get my cape
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
