return my video game
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize