that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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