The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
