I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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