I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
