Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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