My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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