We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
