God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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