I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
