I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
