I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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