there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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