did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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