O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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