i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
