Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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