is your mom at the bar?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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