just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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