Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
