Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
