I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
time to smoke my breakfast
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
