But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
