Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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