pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
