Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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