This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
