oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
