It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
