Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
