Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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