well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
