Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize