Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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