I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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