ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
