we're blogging at a bar
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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