i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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