I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
