so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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