yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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