people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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