The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
