There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
