he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
