Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've blown a few things in my day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
