I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize