I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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