Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
