Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ttyl tear gas
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
