as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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