Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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