You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
