he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think my moral compass just broke
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
