it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
