It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
