I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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