D3 body, D1 cock
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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