Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
