I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize