fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
